getting there…

Hello family,
It’s Joe.  I hope all is well over ‘there’ (well…for you i am the one who is over ‘there’). I guess wherever any of us are, we will always be ‘here‘ and will always be trying to get ‘there’.  The funny thing is, that when we finally get ‘there‘, we will realize that we are once again just… ‘here’.  For the ‘here’ is all we are given. So the real question is not how to get ‘there’ but what will you do ‘here’ where you are?  Or more importantly, who are you ‘here’…with?  Are you here with the LORD?

inspired by: (video-  http://tinyurl.com/yhc6dgn)

“…the shattering of all illusions.”

a glimpse into some of the readings from theology class:

“Sin and its effects is the one place that we can hide from the overwhelming glorious reality of God.

Human suffering is a consequence of sin and evil, but God cannot be affected by these parasites that feed on goodness and replace truth with an illusion and a lie.  God cannot participate in such a lie, but in taking on human nature, God in Jesus Christ enters into our illusions, letting loose the fullness of divine loving action and exploding the lie forever. The cross is the ultimate moment of human contact with the reality of God, resulting in the shattering of all illusions.”

-Laura Smit-  From “Who is God”

9 minutes

a new day. as i sit here at the urban grounds, a new moment that has never happened before is about to burst into glorious existence…. it is now passing me by…..there goes another….and another….they keep passing by.  Can I capture them?  How can i hold them? Have I captured the last 30 seconds with these sentences behind this question mark that is coming up right now?  If I hit backspace, will I lose those moments?  Am I losing the moments that are going by me as I sit here dwelling on the moments that have gone by before them?  What does it mean to exist for another day? It cannot be for vain comforts.  For we have chased them.  We  have been chasing them.
Then is it for God? Why are so many Christians so unhappy?  Why are we so sad?  If we have found “IT!” then why are we still wandering around aimlessly through our days?

9 minutes have gone by. and i don’t know why

the fast

i find myself staring into this screen more than i do the face of  humans, the heavens or the Word.

for what were these eyes made for?

“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

i declare a fast.

i leave you here.

see you when Greeks over.

a flash of hope

sometimes in the mist of utter discouragement, frustration…soul tiredness…i close my eyes and catch a sudden surge of hope, a flash of peace, an outburst of joy…

then as soon as it came, its gone…like lightning that lights up a dark sky brighter than the sun for a instant… so brief but undeniably real… the echos of the sonic shock waves still shaking the ground…shaking my soul

sometimes in the mist of utter discouragement, frustration…soul tiredness…i close my eyes and i…worship

acedia

why is it so fun to do things that don’t matter, should it not be the other way around? have we all been deceived?

careEboo cawfee

i am a poor broke seminary student.  i come to this coffee shop and buy a mug of plain coffee.  cause i’m poor.  i look for a table with an outlet near by. to plug in my phone charger. i pull out my bible and note book. i press play on my ipod and begin to read and write my thoughts and prayers. i am reading Jeremiah. a small homeless woman limps in the store. all the employes and cafe patrons look  up at her.  one of the trendy looking employees opens his mouth to say something to her, but then stops,  there are two crumpled dollar bills tightly clutched in her hand.  she slowly walks in with the money slightly held out in front of her.  she knows, it is the money that is welcome here not her.  she buys a slice of coffee bread and sits alone and  eats.

i am a poor broke seminary student.  so i am drinking a $2 coffee. my $150 phone is charging next to me. my $200 light blue ipod nano is playing through my $90 ultimate-ears noise canceling earbuds.  as i read from my $35 leather bound ESV bible. with my $13 moleskin note          book. i saw a homeless woman today. and what do i do? i write a blog entry about it on my $2,300 macbook pro.

i am what is wrong with this world.

update.baby!

so it has been some time since my last update. and thus we have a problem. you see as the time span between posts grow so do these invisible walls of expectations in which i have become a prisoner of.  because i know that the millions who read this blog are thinking the same thing: “wow this guy hasn’t posted anything in a while…but when he does…it’s going to be epic!” (Oh and i know that the millions that read this blog are also thinking: “wow this guy is super attractive” (ok, maybe just half of those millions (the female half)))

anyway. i’ve been thinking: with what can i break out of this ever mounting self-consciousness?  what sort of brilliant-witty-deep-spiritual-poetic-enlightening post will it take?

…

…

so…have you seen my brand new nephew-baby?!?!

wafflehouse nonsense

After a frustrating five hour session of paper writing, me and a some fellow seminarians headed out  for a much needed 1am waffle house run. As we drive up to the welcoming glow of that big yellow sign, we see a homeless man walk in ahead of us. One of us comments, “He looks like Jesus.” Now I really don’t know what Jesus looks like but, he did look like Jesus.

Anyway, we sit down at the bar and we begin to order our meals and the three of us look at the man who sits alone across the small restaurant. We look at him and then we look at each other…its like we have an unspoken conversation, an unspoken conviction. I jump the gun and before the others can, I get up, I tell them I got it.  They don’t fight me and graciously let me have this opportunity to share, to bless, to be blessed.
I come over and I offer to cover his meal, he looks up at me with a thankful eye (his other eyes was covered with cataracts)and reaches out his hand to thank me. I reach out my hand but there is a moment of hesitation…his hands are dirty… so is my heart. We shake hands.
I sit down, nervous and a bit uncomfortable. I ask him how he is doing.  The flood gates open. My new eating companion pours out a torrent of nonsensical words and stories.  I smile politely and give him my full attention…I don’t understand a word he is saying.  But what else can I do but give him my undivided attention. Did i mention he looks kinda like Jesus. Our food arrives but he is more excited about talking than eating. After ten more minutes of listening I get two things. His name is Alex, he is 48 years old, and he kinda looks like Jesus.  It doesn’t matter that everything he says doesn’t make any sense. At the moment Alex is sharing with me whatever comes to his head like…a friend would.  So I stop just staring as if he were some sort of spectacle and I join the conversation. I start to ramble on and on about my mission studies paper on the inter-generational issues facing the Korean American Church(also all nonsense btw).  As we eat our eggs and waffles, we go back and forth having two ridiculous conversations that have nothing to do with each other. It didn’t matter, life was shared.

and since when did that have to make any sense.

peace <><

sanctuary

The small corner of this local coffee shop.

This space in-between my earbuds.

The space between me and this screen,

the space between my eyes and this sacred book.

This intangible space between my mind and my heart.

I declare it…sanctuary.

I want to enter into it. To Where You are.

Into this space, set apart to…meet You.

“But I, but your great mercy,

I will come into your house,

in reverence will I bow down

toward your holy temple.”

Psalms 5:7

-sanctuary-